Le sigh... I was so gregarious to-day, and then I stopped... I was going to go with the grrls, but then I didn't.... I was going to be me, but I wasn't....
laskdjlaksdjalksdjlaksdj................
This is how I feel at the moment... I don't have any specific thoughts or emotions... It's as if I were completely spent... gibberish...
It's 3:59 am and I have a midterm in about 4 hours... I need sleep, caffeine, and more studying to do.
That is my tattoo...
I'm a lot calmer than I was earlier to-day, meaning a couple of hours ago. I couldn't help teh way I was feeling... or the lack there of. I tried to rationalize it out, and it was like a wave... It would resede, and that's when I was the calmest... I was able to see what I was feeling and why, but then the wave would crash back, and I would be blinded by the sorrow, the "what if's", the future... And it was an ongoing continuous cycle... until now...
I spoke to a friend, mainly about shit and what was indeed bothering me, which I still don't know completely, and about life in general. This talk actually calmed me down a lot. I don't know if it was because I spoke, listened, observed, relaxed, tensed up, or what, that I became calmer... maybe it was just the passage of time.
I don't know.
BAD idea to put that stuff on there... but why would they tell me to put it on in the first place? Thanks to a friend (who has a lot of tattoos), it got all better. Now I have to buy some of the stuff he put on my arm.
He cleaned it off and then he rubbed the stuff onto the tattoo... so nice....
I COULD name it Bela, I mean, that was one of the reasons why I got what I got in the first place....
YOu cannot imagine the pain... unless you've gotten one... or two... or three.... It's like something stinging you, but rather than just a quick jab, it's continuous and THROUGHOUT the whole tattoo...................... It's like if they're doing the WHOLE tattoo again, but this time instead of peace by peace it's all at the same time. ARG! I can't explain exactly what I feel........... And now it's kinda red around the edges.... and it's still swollen..........
Ok, NOW it's stinging like hell! Imagine someone getting a shrap cheese grater and graitng your arm... back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, but all at the same time......
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And all of this happened because I put Lubriderm on it.... It didn't hurt as much before.....
